l So you and your friends are at a draw. Your bike is as light as you can get it with all titanium and aluminum parts, and you’ve come to a standstill. Well if the function of your bike is no longer an issue, try these weight savers.
1. Lose your valve stem caps. What are they there for, anyway?
2. Peel off all stickers and frame decals. Your sponsors will understand when you start winning races.
3. Inflate your tires with helium. Slow leaks equal high voices and good laughs.
4. Remove your seat and replace it with a whoopee cushion. Confuse the enemy!
5. Cut down your number plate. Less weight means less numbers.
6. Cut off every other tooth on your sprocket, or every four if your really serious about not riding the thing.
7. Grease? Who needs it? Smooth parts are a small price to pay for precious grams.
8. Forget the conventional handlebar. Throw them in the trash and opt for a nice pair of mountain bike flat bars, cut ‘em down nice and slim.
9. No brakes means no drag. Full speed ahead, boys.
10. Drill out your frame and get creative with a hack saw. How strong does a bike have to be to stand up under its own weight?
11. Steal your little sister’s 16-inch wheels, and cut some of the lugs off of the tread of the tire while you’re at it. If she resists, trade her for your Ti-spoked Crupies.
