from vitalbmx.com:
Dave Mirra Wins Celebrity Race!
The annual Toyota Grand Prix Celebrity race was held April 15th in Long Beach, CA. The race is full of Hollywood actors and professional athletes, and the winner for 2007 was none other than Dave Mirra! Apparently Dave can do anything he wants and come out on top. Congrats to Dave, and you can check out Toyota.com for more info. Crazy.
Results
1. Dave Mirra - NO Dave we said celebrities
2. Martina Navratilova - too busy eating pussy to win
3. Joshua Morrow - who?
4. Mike Skinner - in full factory Burberry uniform
5. RJ Romero - He owns the fucking company! he shoulda won by default
6. Bucky Lasek - you can't skate on gravel, he was destined to place low
7. Scott Kelley - KELLEY is wanted by the District of New Hampshire - New Hampshire Joint Fugitive Taskforce, based on arrest warrants issued by the U.S. Marshals Service and Coos County Sheriff's Office, NH for Unlawful Flight to Avoid Prosecution and Non-Custodial Kidnapping. - last seen in 7th place!
8. Emily Procter - won worst actress awards in 2001, 2002 & 2003 & her dad is a Doctor?? would that be as in the porn film "Dr Proctor - Anal Specialist" what a winner!
9. Kell Hu - & fuck you too unknown
10. John Salley - Ex NBA, aka 'the spider' I reckon had he not gone with the 280mm profile cranks choice he woulda placed higher...?
11. Aisha Tyler - Actress & avid 'home beer brewer' (piss head) was probably too fucked up on 'Old Thunderpussy Barleywine' to give a shit about some poxy BMX race
12. Jery Westlund - A former political consultant for the U.S.-controlled Bicycle Club casino has been indicted on charges of embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars from the card club's political campaigns - how could he loose?
13. Kathryn Morris - shes a hottie, I have nothing derogatory to say about her
14. Robin Quivers - I bet he does being up against that 'legendary celeb' Dave Mirra!
15. Annamarie Dean - Toyota race car driver - should have come second right behind RJ??
16. George Lucas - not even the force could elevate George to place higher
17. Kendra Wilkinson - one of Hugh Hefners bunny's - stick to your inevitable porn career girl, you certainly have the rigged up face for it
So I can see it now, DM thinking 'I could beat those mofos for the gold medal!?' If it was that much of a bargain bin celeb deal then where where the following Z listers??:
Dave Mirra Wins Celebrity Race!
The annual Toyota Grand Prix Celebrity race was held April 15th in Long Beach, CA. The race is full of Hollywood actors and professional athletes, and the winner for 2007 was none other than Dave Mirra! Apparently Dave can do anything he wants and come out on top. Congrats to Dave, and you can check out Toyota.com for more info. Crazy.
Results
1. Dave Mirra - NO Dave we said celebrities
2. Martina Navratilova - too busy eating pussy to win
3. Joshua Morrow - who?
4. Mike Skinner - in full factory Burberry uniform
5. RJ Romero - He owns the fucking company! he shoulda won by default
6. Bucky Lasek - you can't skate on gravel, he was destined to place low
7. Scott Kelley - KELLEY is wanted by the District of New Hampshire - New Hampshire Joint Fugitive Taskforce, based on arrest warrants issued by the U.S. Marshals Service and Coos County Sheriff's Office, NH for Unlawful Flight to Avoid Prosecution and Non-Custodial Kidnapping. - last seen in 7th place!
8. Emily Procter - won worst actress awards in 2001, 2002 & 2003 & her dad is a Doctor?? would that be as in the porn film "Dr Proctor - Anal Specialist" what a winner!
9. Kell Hu - & fuck you too unknown
10. John Salley - Ex NBA, aka 'the spider' I reckon had he not gone with the 280mm profile cranks choice he woulda placed higher...?
11. Aisha Tyler - Actress & avid 'home beer brewer' (piss head) was probably too fucked up on 'Old Thunderpussy Barleywine' to give a shit about some poxy BMX race
12. Jery Westlund - A former political consultant for the U.S.-controlled Bicycle Club casino has been indicted on charges of embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars from the card club's political campaigns - how could he loose?
13. Kathryn Morris - shes a hottie, I have nothing derogatory to say about her
14. Robin Quivers - I bet he does being up against that 'legendary celeb' Dave Mirra!
15. Annamarie Dean - Toyota race car driver - should have come second right behind RJ??
16. George Lucas - not even the force could elevate George to place higher
17. Kendra Wilkinson - one of Hugh Hefners bunny's - stick to your inevitable porn career girl, you certainly have the rigged up face for it
So I can see it now, DM thinking 'I could beat those mofos for the gold medal!?' If it was that much of a bargain bin celeb deal then where where the following Z listers??:
- Vera Duckworth - go go you spiteful old fucker!
- Carol Thatcher - hot off her 'I'm a retard get me outta here!' win in 05, she would been hot for rockin' the 20" & leaving DM in her wake
- Gareth Gates - someone coulda pulled this looser fuckwit outta the dumpster he now resides in & put the goons career back on the track
- Joey Deacon - what a legend! well if he wasn't RIP he must have been down for the win, all he needed to do was have a chat with DM pre moto & he would drenched him in spit from all that whistling shit & DM's Oakley Razor Blades ((or whoever he's sponsored by this week)) would have been fully misted & he woulda put it over the first berm without a doubt...
Celebrities one & all then...
I'd rather be drinkin' than ridin' any bastid dae
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